Any Suggestions?
Posted by Colston | | Posted On Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Ok, I didnt want to make one post like two pages long so I thought I would break it up some.
So recently Emily and I have been doing this things we called "dinner for six". Since we have only been here about two months or so we wanted to get to know the kids a little better so we had them sign up with a total of six people to come over to our house where we cooked dinner and played games or just sat around and talked! We did this for like 3 or 4 weeks, once a week. So this last Friday night was the last night and we only had two girls that came which was cool because I really wanted to get to know them. One of the girls just got saved like two weeks ago and its been awesome to see her trying to figure out this Christianity thing. She comes from a home that has nothing to do with church, Catholic is what I think her mom claims and she doesnt even know where her dad is... The other girl comes from a home where both parents a good church going people. They love the Lord and their daughter but somewhere down the line something went wrong. Their daughter that came over is a freshman and high school and she already has gone off the deep end. She started smoking pot when she was 12! You name it this kid has done it, sex, drugs, alcohol, cutting, everything. My heart breaks for her! She said she got saved this summer at camp and I actually baptized her too! We were so pumped to see her accept Christ because alot of us had been praying for her for a long time. Well, she quit doing all that stuff when she got home and she did good for about a month or so and then she started using again. When she came over we talked about all that stuff because her friend that just got saved HATES the things that she does but cant seem to get her to stop. I asked her all kinds of questions about doing drugs and stuff her response was this "If I wanted to quit I would, its not like Im addicted, it just fun. No one is going to make me stop. I will just stop when I want to. Even if I went to rehab it wouldnt help because I dont want to stop its fun." As she sat there and told me that all I wanted to do was grab her and shake her! I couldnt believe a teen would sit there and tell their youth pastor that they do drugs and like it and wont stop! I dont come from a background with this kind of attitude.
So, I didnt know exactly what to tell her, so i told her that I loved her, and that Jesus loves her. I told her that I would pray that she would stop and that someday there will be consequences for her actions but I will always love her and be there for her.
I have some material that I plan on talking to her about however, I have never dealt with this before.
SO if you have any suggestions on how to handle the situation or if you know someone that was in the same boat I would love to hear there story.
BTW- Her parents know that she uses and gives her random drug test. They are pretty much at the end of their rope because they have no idea how to handle the situation, She usely stays grounded for months and she sees a "Christian counselor" for whatever thats worth. Her parents took Emily and I out as soon as we got here to let us know the situation and honestly I think it was to see if we could "fix" her because they had done everything they could think of.
Like I said, she said accepted Christ and no one can truly judge that however I think with this kind of attitude its hard to believe that she really did make a profession.
Im really at a loss as what to do except keep on loving her and hope and pray that she will turn from this all.
I just have no idea except pray and preach to her that she needs to stop. With her attitude is it even possible to get her to stop? I know that she will only stop when she decides to or gets caught and goes to juvy.
Any thoughts would be really appreciated!
So recently Emily and I have been doing this things we called "dinner for six". Since we have only been here about two months or so we wanted to get to know the kids a little better so we had them sign up with a total of six people to come over to our house where we cooked dinner and played games or just sat around and talked! We did this for like 3 or 4 weeks, once a week. So this last Friday night was the last night and we only had two girls that came which was cool because I really wanted to get to know them. One of the girls just got saved like two weeks ago and its been awesome to see her trying to figure out this Christianity thing. She comes from a home that has nothing to do with church, Catholic is what I think her mom claims and she doesnt even know where her dad is... The other girl comes from a home where both parents a good church going people. They love the Lord and their daughter but somewhere down the line something went wrong. Their daughter that came over is a freshman and high school and she already has gone off the deep end. She started smoking pot when she was 12! You name it this kid has done it, sex, drugs, alcohol, cutting, everything. My heart breaks for her! She said she got saved this summer at camp and I actually baptized her too! We were so pumped to see her accept Christ because alot of us had been praying for her for a long time. Well, she quit doing all that stuff when she got home and she did good for about a month or so and then she started using again. When she came over we talked about all that stuff because her friend that just got saved HATES the things that she does but cant seem to get her to stop. I asked her all kinds of questions about doing drugs and stuff her response was this "If I wanted to quit I would, its not like Im addicted, it just fun. No one is going to make me stop. I will just stop when I want to. Even if I went to rehab it wouldnt help because I dont want to stop its fun." As she sat there and told me that all I wanted to do was grab her and shake her! I couldnt believe a teen would sit there and tell their youth pastor that they do drugs and like it and wont stop! I dont come from a background with this kind of attitude.
So, I didnt know exactly what to tell her, so i told her that I loved her, and that Jesus loves her. I told her that I would pray that she would stop and that someday there will be consequences for her actions but I will always love her and be there for her.
I have some material that I plan on talking to her about however, I have never dealt with this before.
SO if you have any suggestions on how to handle the situation or if you know someone that was in the same boat I would love to hear there story.
BTW- Her parents know that she uses and gives her random drug test. They are pretty much at the end of their rope because they have no idea how to handle the situation, She usely stays grounded for months and she sees a "Christian counselor" for whatever thats worth. Her parents took Emily and I out as soon as we got here to let us know the situation and honestly I think it was to see if we could "fix" her because they had done everything they could think of.
Like I said, she said accepted Christ and no one can truly judge that however I think with this kind of attitude its hard to believe that she really did make a profession.
Im really at a loss as what to do except keep on loving her and hope and pray that she will turn from this all.
I just have no idea except pray and preach to her that she needs to stop. With her attitude is it even possible to get her to stop? I know that she will only stop when she decides to or gets caught and goes to juvy.
Any thoughts would be really appreciated!
Wow. I am definitely glad I am still in school when you post stuff like this!
I think this may be a first for me hearing of someone getting saved and then choosing to do wrong and being so open about it.
Like most people we always got the youth camp kids come in every year, get saved, burn their rock cd's behind the church, then disappear for 11months to repeat the process for all four years of HS.
The verse that first popped into mind is that their is pleasure in sin for a season, which there is, but the only thing I can think of is I Timothy 4:10. I know it is crazy to think someone's heart can change so quickly in just a couple months, but Paul refers to Demas as someone who was with him for a while, then having loved the present world (drugs, alcohol, etc..) left him and ultimately the faith.
I guess this is why we spend four years at Bible college though, let me explain. A practicing Armenian would argue that this girl has simply lost her salvation. A practicing Calvinist would say she was never saved to begin with. Ultimately their message is both the same, repent.
She may have a poor understanding of what she is doing being wrong? She may not know the hurt it not only causes you, Emily, her parents, but God Himself. If she understands her actions are wrong and sinful and chooses to sin still, then I would reason she has yet to truly accept Christ.
I saw you mention that you were going to get her some information and I am not sure how you feel about "AA" but there is a dude who recently started coming and I only got to know him a bit over the summer, but he as a follow of Christ fully supports AA and mentioned how they have programs/steps for other areas of sin, narcotics being one of them.
Since she is still living at home I would definitely throw out all the options to her parents. I am not sure how I feel about "turning her in" but it may be a "wake up call" or as the lame show we all watch "intervention."
Well, man I think my reply is longer than your post, but hopefully I said is remotely profitable. Hit me back with your night schedule, this whole me having Sprint thing is killing my minutes! The girl (which I want to talk you about) has verizon and you having cingular, two good phone conversations and my 500 minutes are drained! So, anyways, let me know your night schedule this weekend so I can call you past 9pm my time! I love you, man and I'm praying for you. Keep seeking after God. Quote of the day from Craig Groeschel (lifechurch.tv) "Quit being a full time pastor and part time Christian"
I Corinthians 10:31. and the whole chapter really. but the last verse sums it up. As believers, we have a responsibility to bring Glory to God in everything we do.
well man i am currently dealing with a kid who wants to be out of his parents house, he wants to live on his own do whatever he wants all that good stuff. His parents are separated and they go to different churches. I have been called back into the office numerous times to deal with him one on one. He takes a lot of my time up. What it comes down to is this kid and this girl want some attention, they will get it anyway they can. Something isn't lining up right, either her parents are loving but to busy to spend time with her or she truly didn't accept Christ, or she is afraid to get new friends and this is the crowed she has found she fits into. From what i can tell with my kid, it is the first idea. I would see if maybe Emily can spend 1 day a week hanging out with her for a couple hours to see if a good influence would help her out, now when she hangs out with her she doesn't need to try to fix her just be someone she can look up too. Take her shopping or run errands go to the beach whatever you can think of. Good luck have fun and i know things will work out. By her coming to your house that shows she wants attention and help. Have a good week man i am off to Boise tomorrow morning. Talk to you later.